During a good chunk of the 80’s and
onward for eighteen years I was a line cook in an open kitchen at a
trendy California-Italian restaurant in Minneapolis. Over the years
we fed many local and national celebrities and power people.
Management did not forbid us from collecting autographs but cautioned
us about when it was acceptable and when it was definitely not. You
did not bother Janet Jackson when she came in repeatedly during her
recording period at Flyte Tyme Studios while she was making Rhythm
Nation. (FYI, she loved our wings and artichoke hearts) No one
bothered Sinead eating at a sidewalk table, not fooling us in her
wig. It was okay to acknowledge Mel Brooks and Carl Reiner with a
head nod but you left them alone out of respect and awe.
Some celebrities walked in the door
with a happy expectation that they would encounter fan interaction.
Joan Jett and entourage sat right in front of the line and joked with
the cooks; I cherish that autograph “Keep on rockin’ Joan Jett”.
Malcolm McDowell’s party also sat near the line. He was thrilled
when the line almost immediately joined in voice for a few lines of
“Singing In The Rain”, saying he wasn’t sure if people would
recognize him anymore. Many members of the Minnesota Twins line-up
were in during the World Series, both 1987 and 1991, but it was
always crazy busy during those times. I did have an opportunity to
get Kirby Puckett’s autograph for my son on a later date when he
was dining with our owners over an ad campaign discussion. He wrote
to my 6 year old son “Stay in School, Be Cool, Kirby Puckett”.
RIP Kirby. Minnesotan Gretchen Carlson came in soon after her Miss
America reign and I asked and received her autograph. You may know
her as a national news anchor.
When Elvis Costello came in repeatedly
for about a week, he adopted an interesting practice. He was in town
discussing a possible music collaboration with some local musicians
and they would all meet at the restaurant in the afternoon. After the
first day Elvis would just have the waitron bring a stack of the
restaurant’s signature coasters and he would autograph each one,
ensuring everyone that sought his autograph, whether it be customer
or worker, could have one.
Sometimes you stepped outside the
lines; sometimes you listen to the beat of a different accordion.
Fred Willard and a half dozen others came in for lunch one day and I
took a leap. Having ascertained from the waitron that the sandwich I
was making was definitely for Mr. Willard, himself, I manufactured a
special presentation. I wrote in beautiful script a special message
for Mr. Willard, ran a frill pick through the paper and stuck in the
top of his sandwich. The message read “Laced with arsenic for your
dining pleasure”. When he was served I saw him read it, laugh, and
later the waitron gave me a little note thanking me for the physical
evidence his lawyer would need in case of a lawsuit and an autograph
from Mr. Willard.
Of course there are the autographs I
should have gotten, also. Tony Papenfuss was actually friends with
some of the staff, I should have got his autograph. You may know him
as First Darryl from Newhart, the tv series. I should have gotten
Patrick Stewart’s autograph. I deeply regret not asking Chris
Farley; I even walked by his table after I punched out to gauge
whether I should bother him or not. He was having a great time with
his group and I decided I should leave him alone. He was dead
within the year.
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